NOt again

do not know what i can type in here.
do not know if it's gonna sound nice or not.
but generally, i don't really care.
this blog wasnt meant to be read by people anyway.
anyways. im back home.

no more overnight. no nothing.

some things are accumulated over a period of time.
given that period of tolerance, i know grace u're improving.
but perhaps... it wasnt enough to pull me thru this time round.

how stretched can a heart go to accomodate the whole world?
i do not know.
i do not wish to accomodate everyone in right now.

Yes. it's my passion to join the Student development team.
it's a shame if i have to say i cant even handle this.
yes right now i cant. im sure there are more to come.
so..... shelf that bloody name or position aside cuz im seriously not in the mood to care
if im already in side or not. because, perhaps, im not the one for it.

im just not good enough.

do not asssume im gonna be here all the time.
i can be damn fan jian. but there are times when i turn and walk away,
im sure it's gonna be a one way road.
it's sad.
i know theres no points, and not worthy of the tears i shed.
but im sorry, sometimes we cant control. as much as i want to.

i would admit i do not have a big enough heart like sis.
i do not like the way ppl treat YOU or Myself as though.. we're running the show.
so we'll forever be here.
and when things do not go well, it is not our business. why should we take that blame.
who should be responsible?

i've tried. you needed me to print, i print.
u needed me to leave work for you, i did.
you needed to talk, i tried.
you needed to go thru things, i sat down even with my eyes closed.
even if you do not need me, i made sure im there so you could see and find me when u do.

am i biased towards anyone in the team?
it's up to you to decipher and decide. why should i bother explaining to make myself look better.
whether you know, you do not know, you choose not to know. up to you.
i don't really care anymore.
all in all, i do not have the right to stop people from adopting their own thinkings and beliefs.
just know that im a straightforward person. So i'll show it if i seriously hate you or mean to make things difficult. i can only say until now, i've nv done that to anyone.

i chose to walk away. because i know, it's not gonna be nice if im to scream.
who am i to scream? sometimes i do not know.
for who? i no longer have a clear idea as well.
for wad. i don't know.

team dynamics? im disgusted.
it's tiring to be settling everybody's emotions all the time.

we do not owe you a living.
we are not obliged for anything to do with week zero.

if sis has sucha big heart, as always. i knw i can never beat that.
don't wish to compare anyway.
i do not have that big a heart right now. im sorry.

i do not know.
how to make things better?
to care or not to care?
the feeling of being stuck on the middle line sucks.
neither here nor there.
if i care, how much should i bebothered?
so much so that we do not have to be the ones responsible for your failure.
why should we anyway.

cant think.
night.