Needs and Wants

GOsh. i'm so freaking frustrated right now.
today is seriously not my day.
what is this man.. sigh.

Right now, I no longer know how to talk anymore.
i'm trying reaaaaallly hard to be normal.
but im sorry, im being abnormal.
i know.
but it's gonna be what you want,
let it be then.

Why bother trying so hard sometimes.
be it people, be it at work, be it studies club, be it qss.
i mean, people don't see it. so often it's perceived otherwise.
why should we be judged by others.
why should we be accountable to how others will feel?
i'm sorry for things i've dont wrong. but why should i continue on and learn how to pacify others?
if the friendship is important, yes im gonna try.
but if the other party finds it hard to cont, then let it be.

why should i be doing so much when most of it aint withint my jobscope?
Why should i be lacking in so much in my pay when it's not supposed to be?
why should i be doing things out of your convenience.
why should i be a fool and let you think you can say whatever you want to me
why should i be here to let you diss at me when you are not happy?
why should we fret so hard to get manpower when the rest arent trying?
why should we be fretting about how many flatteners can we get with that few dollars?

I JUST DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

the to do list on my notebook at my office has lines that are even longer than this.
they are not 'why should i', but 'to do' and 'pending'. DAMN IT!

How i was being so excited about the hong kong trip in aug.
then it's decided to be in dec when i can go with my family.
yet, my sis-in-law's mum has to come along.
everyone simply cant stand her, cuz she talks toooo much!
so now... parents don't want go, aunties don't want go.
might just not go in the end.

wa lao. so damn frustrating.
why. just damn pissed when ppl treat you like dirt u know.
what do you mean that you're not happy so you don't want to talk.
what do you mean why you talk only when u like it?
i do not know seriously, one way or two way? i think i'll nv know.
cuz, im not going to find that out.
fuck it.

procodin is making me damn drowsy and irritable.
i need my bed. and silence.