To do or not to do?

it sucks.

im damn sleepy now. i wish im sleeping now.
actually im being retarded, cuz i can slp anytime. just that im not.

out of nowhere, a pri school friend popped out on msn.
and we're talking. making me think damn hard who the heck is he.
but i've decided not to try so hard since my brain isnt really working anyway.
don't be stupid grace. why bother. u've more impt things to think about.

had a talk with wallace today.
im not sure, if things said were true.
not sure if he meant what he said and did.
to me, it's good enough. because... i cant be bothered anymore.
since he always had his reasons to support his actions.
so, put it aside and move on. what to do.
but mag hor was right that this may just happen again. it's just gonna get harder each time.
but my brain is no longer functioning.

dinnered with clar and wallace.
talked about things. tlak about camp.
i mean.. so many things to address.
the more u hear, the more disappointing things become.
sigh. i wish i nv knew.
now im stuck. to do or not to do?
will pep talk help anymore. will addressing concern help anymore.
do i want to continue to make others feel better by talking.
im not sure.

all in all, i do not know anymore.
whether it's worth the effort.

im not god, i cant judge.
but i do have my own set of beliefs to follow.
it's unacceptable.

but.. what can we do.
it's just us and only us.
we cant do much.
it takes 2 hands to clap.
one day, we'll go away too.
what will happen then?

the sleepless nights
the aftermath exhaustion
the ever wondering and thinking brain
the thought of having to hold back tears
the thought of comforting those who thought they failed

HOW.
when we cant even figure a way to convince ourselves..
that.. things will eventually get better.
at least, not anymore.

teach me.

gdnight.