wheee

hello to all..

oh havent been here for quite awhile. and i just realised my most recent post was about the fight that jeff and i had. yeah. sorry that i did not update anything. =p

anyways. we talked things out. yup, was almost on the verge of breaking up. yeah i guess for the first time after quite sometime. well. this fight made me realise something that wallace once told me. i used to have the thinking that i shouldnt change for anybody. or should i say.. the past experience made me feel that i shouldnt. so even for jeff, i felt that perhaps i din have to change cuz he'll like me for who i am. but wallace told me, lets say.. like more than 8 months ago? ha. that changes that one make when he or she is in a relationship, are actually probably essential. thats for us to compromise and accomodate with one another. because, the fact of the matter is, no one is perfect for another. thats the case when both parties are willing to change for the better in each other's eyes. to make sure, they in the end become perfect for one another. i told jeff all of that about how i feel.

so at the end of the day, i wasnt trying to accuse him of anything. but to tell him, or even to hint myself that, it's time that we stop thinking that we did alot for the r/s, because the real thing hasnt been started. subconsciously, we havent changed at all. just expecting the other party to bear with each other's temper, habits, and behaviour. so. hmmm. we both agreed that this r/s shall go on, but real compromises and changes shall be made. even if we do fight again, the way we handle it would be a better one. and if until the period when hes entering army and we're still like that, i guess theres no point carrying on. without a strong foundation, i seriously dun have confidence in this r/s when hes gone. yeah. so thats our agreement. oh well.

last sat. had workshop after work. and yeah, that nearly made me to miss sending deborah off to aust. if that really happened, i would proabbly hate the boss now. ahha. well. sigh. seeing her wipe her tears away just made me feel like crying more. strong deb has nv been weak. but i guess going overseas does make hell lot of a difference. especially when she did have many close friends. all the 3 yeasrs we spent in the club. i guess thats something none of us could forget. well. im still missing her every now and then. and i was gay, had fever later that night.

sunday. went ubin with wallace, sister, bendy ho, mic and siyuen and sinee. to recce the routes for the camp on the 13th to 15th. wa. it was hardcore. we went to super ulu places, cycled on the rocky paths that made my butt hurt for 2 days after that. and even visited hornets nests and beaches. and yeah. wad we're going to be doing there during the camp. ho hoho. well. it was fun though. =)

and yeah. im finally going to start earning my 1550 bucks from ttsh this month. just signed a 1-year contract with them yesterday. well. wow, one year seemed damn long. i guess so. but i'll just commit myself to it. did blood test, xray, and everything else la. medical check up. it was a hassle, but did kill quite abitof my working time. =) and yup. i realised, this place, i can work for one year. not because i LOVE the job, but the ppl there are seriously nice. and i believe i can learn alot down here. with the compulsory lessons, tests, that would force me to study and learn more and ask more qns. thats why i chose to stay.

felt so relieved after signing the contract cuz it got me quite stressed up the previous night. haha. so i gave jeff a treat to suki sushi last night. well. it was a happy night going out with him. =) the talk we had did work out well i guess. hee. we both went to buy a bag for the camp. and yup. now im feeling damn broke. yes very broke.

met up with charm rene levin ken and keith for dinner at merchant court jus now. okie, my fault that i nearly missed it. ha. but thank god i still went down in the end. =) missed them. missed rene. cant beleive shes like leaving on sunday. all the memories we had. i guess they'd nv go away and would stay forever. my heart was kinda heavy when she said she probably wont be coming back anymore. would want to settle there at aust after her studies. yup. so probably, see her a few more times. and thats it. =( sigh.

but i promise. to write more happy entries here. so that the not so depressed grace can brighten up ppl's day and not let ppl worry. i guess thats the least thing i can do. =) more on social life ye syes, not just about studies club and work anymore alrights. i'll try. =)

okie. gotta go and rest. gdnight. thanks for the bdae present. so sweet.