Time to move on

I was simply too tired last night. did not feel that it was the last day of asc project.... So all i felt was happiness and lethargy. haha....

but today when i woke up in the morning.. i started crying. oh gosh! Now i know how it feels, to wake up one day, and realise everything is over, and a new beginning is here. but seriously, i dun think im ready to let it go. really really.

During LC play yesterday, when i saw the slide show with all the flashback of the projects and our pictures.. oh my gosh, i already started tearing on stage cAN. im damn gross i know.. and today, i was in a state of on the verge of crying when i was on my way to schoooll... just when i met jeffrey halfway thru, i started crying nonstop on the bus la... because he told me, he felt it too, that everything is over. i told myself, that i should not be emo la... as if it helps in any way. but i simply couldnt control my emotions.

After all, i'd been in the club for 3 years. From a girl who just joined for the sake of wanting the cca points, i started to like what i was doing, realise what i could do, and what this whole club thingy would bring my own character and leadership development to a higher level. The old me was so dependent on others, indecisive and did not have a goal in life. the club gave me everything i needed. i learnt how to be independent, decisive, and slowly, i knew what i wanted for the club and i went straight for it. I made great friends, who supported me all the way. and being busy in the club made my life in poly much more fulfilling than what i ever expected it to be, and of cuz.. when im lonely, it gave me a sense of belonging. I totally cant describe exactly what important things that being in the club has taught and given me. I only know, i totally cant bear to leave this place.

I guess i'll need sometime to accept this fact that i'll be gone from here. to do other more important things in life right now. i miss so many of my friends here. sigh. badly. how man. whenever i think of it, wa lao, see im crying again. damn emo la.... sigh...

but one thing i know, that is, my last argument with bendy ho, really made him realise and change. because i felt his passion for the club once again. and now, i would happily say that he is worthy to be the president of the club. because of what he wanted for the people, and how he led everyone to achieve it. like i said, being involved would definitely make one love this place. really. it was at the telematch, i saw that we're jumping for the same reason, that is, my gosh! we WON.

I really would hope the club committee next year would be a strong bunch. to create better projects, and earn us more recognition and of cuz, awards. right now im just waiting for the best club award to be announced. we stand a great chance this year. if we do get it. that will be the best farewell gift for me.

hmmm. yup. eyes are tired. time to rest i guess. gdnight.