It's Monday.

Hello folks.
Good morning.
It's a great morning to be feeling really tired. Yes i Know. but i really am!


Slept late for the past 2 nights over the weekend.
Thank God I slept 12 hours on friday night!


Spoke to boss on Saturday morning about my resignation.
it was really scary as this is the first time i'm doing such a thing.
well the previous employer, my boss was like my friend whom im still in contact with until now
so it wasnt exactly tough and formal when i handed over my letter.
But this was.


He spent 15 min on the phone telling me how things would be changed if i decide to stay.
it was a strong emphasis on my studies and how conducive govt jobs are for studies.
but come on, govt jobs are conducive... but not for a job like mine.
if it can be equally hectic and tiring, i'd rather pursue a career that would be more promising and pays me more.


This job is called the canvasser.
A new start up company is launching a new job portal with new features and my role is to think of strategies to promote and market this new product.
somehow i'm really excited.
though i know it spells tough work and even OTs during the start up period.
Honestly speaking, i do think i'll be able to handle that.


the only thing that would make it hard to leave will be the orientation team.
i hate to leave with things undone and leave them stranded.
knowing that passing the baton over to tkb would be a totally diff ballgame for them,
so right now, i want to do what i can before i officially leave this place.
because i know for real, once i step out of tp, i'm nv coming back, not anymore!

Sigh really nostalgic. but I have to move on.

I hope the new company accept the fact that i can only start in mid feb instead of early feb.
i mean, if they really want me, and if time permits.
so i'm waiting.
the feeling of waiting just sucks.
i just want to quickly go there, sign the form and get it over and done with.


Boss is on reservist this week.
it's good and bad in a sense.
Good that i don't have to see his face when i officially tender.
well, bad thing is, i have to hear nagging and persuasion from su chin.
she's another respectable figure here that i wouldnt want to be rude or blunt towards.
i wish i could just pass the letter to HR directly!
but i cant. HAHA


ok.... so let me wait and wait.


last night was a terrible night for me.
tx and i finally thrashed things out and talked about our plans for the future.
i mean really, given someone like me who's been working and i yearn to have a home of my own..
i need to have some plans.
i don't want to end up like my parents, slogging all their life.. and don't even know whats coming.
It has been pretty obvious that we cant talk about it because everytime i bring up the topic, he simply shuns it aside and change the subject.


i knew i shouldnt be putting pressure on someone who don't even know what life'd be before he finally leaves the army.
but by not talking about it, it is not going to help to relive any of this stress and tension.
he blew last night saying that i did not consider his feelings and always just showed him a face.
i was really annoyed because, what did he expect me to do?
to forever be the understanding gf who cant see the changes that're happening?


as i move on to a new job, mind you, this is my 3rd job in my life already.
i thought it's time i do some planning for my life.
and i would like to include him in it.
being always the blur person, i wished someone is there to guide me and tell me what are the things i could do.
and i guess i overrated him. because, he is indeed younger.
and i was asking a little too much from him.


all i wanted was, lets just talk about it!
i don't need big promises on how well my life will be with him in the future.
I just needed to know, that he is serious, and we can see a future in us.
it was terribly upsetting when he remarked that i was just trying to follow suit when janelle is getting married, and janice and hock are starting to save up for marriage.

I am definitely not one that would sing monkey see monkey do.
it was pretty bad that he blurted that out and got me all upset as that was totally what i wanted to hear.


cried.
and thereafter it came lots of apologies.
i knew he felt bad. terribly bad.
and conclusion was, we agreeed not to talk about this until half a year later.
and fine, if that was what is agreed, i'll glady do that.
you see, i just needed some directions.


my weird parents had been pressing me to go queue up for a house.
i guess the pressure is there, when both of my brothers are happily married and with kids.
it is not my fault that i have brothers who marry young, and even have kids.
and they are worried about our financial situation.
it is pretty annoying to be hearing all that every now and then.
sigh.
and now at least, i know how to answer them when the stupid question is posed again.
i am only 24!!!!!! grrrr.


yup... so the episode ended.
this was the biggest fight we've had for the past half a year?
or rather, we havent really fought.
so yeah... it took a toll on my head. my head's hurting now because of the swollen eyes.
But only thing i know is, we love and care for each other. I think thats good enough for now. =)


i lost my specs in bangkok.
had been wearing contact lens day in day out.
it's getting a little tiring.
but im simply too broke to do a new pair. because i need to renew my lens!
ai sui mai mia. thats the hokkien term i've learnt recently. HAHA.


alright. time to go work.
u see, nowdays i cant even slack when boss is on leave. GRR!


love,
hope today's a better day!