burn-out

I don't remember when was the last time i did not complain about work.
and i also don't rem when was the last post i blogged.
nowadays i'm getting senile, don't rem things. HAHA.

well well well.
It feels so weird sometimes.
I feel that we spend a lifetime figuring out what we want in lives.
and i have spent the past few months wondering whats good and whats not for myself at work.
there're days when i decide to use all my energy to do my best at work
there're also days when i just decide to not do anything, because i don't find it worthwhile.

Last friday was really tiring.
I travelled from school to koolwerkz, then toa payoh, then jurong west, then school.
I basically died on the bus.
this is not the kinda life that i want.
i am really sure of it.
every trip i make is depleting my transport fees which can only be claimed back in following month.
it's painful because i already am poor in the first place.... sigh.
really stressful.

Had been so poor that i havent been out.
Sigh - seriously dont know how long i can last with these things clogging my mind.

going for the 2nd interview tomorrow.
hopefully things will be as good as previous one.
now i yearn for a peaceful job that i do nto have to travel.
really, i'd love a normal admin job now.
it's too much for me to bear.
while travelling, it takes up my energy, my money.
i have not much left when i have to attend classes at night.

havent been on track to revision.
feel really bad?
but it's really damn hard to get things into my mind.

GRR.
finally set goals.
goals that boss wanted me to set.
so basically i just elaborated on them.
student development - no longer my goal. big boss's decision.
seriously, i don't care anymore.
the disappointment in giving me and taking it away is already there.
so yup! move on grace chan, all the more better, because when i finally leave this place, there will be nothing that keeps me behind. =)

i'm travelling to changi today!
fishing shops - to find styrofoam boxes.
and then to a sec sch, and work ends.
shall quickly go back settle some revision things tonight first before class this week.
sorry to PS zw for dinner!

Now i realised - when u're all on ur own without a team, self-motivation is really necessary.
but what keeps me going?
i can no longer find a reason.

alrighty!
shall go and do work have lunch and nua.
nua nua nua nua nua nua nua nua nua nua

BTw, attended mavis's wedding last night (my ex boss who's my close friend)
wa lao she's damn pretty can!
i realised all ladies become a real woman when they're in their wedding gown?
she's so feminine... like as though she was like that all her life, which is not true.
HAHAHA. but im so happy for her.
it feels so different attending a mere colleague's wedding and attending a friend's wedding.
because u relaly feel happy.
met many of my ex-colleagues
some that i like, some that i don't.
i particularly missed the older pool who treated me really well back then.
sat with the younger ones who're still my closest friends compared to the rest.
Qingyuan's finally attached! happy!. =)
but hope he's really happy....

rights. going back to work. bye bye bye!