im not talking about my irritating flu, but my mood!
right after I blogged last night.
Bf appeared at my door. at.. 12.30pm?
that was seriously weird because i wasnt too surprised, yet not too happy too.
I mean.. why did he appear?
out of genuine concern and surprise?
or because I sounded grumpy that he's caring less during this period of time
i was having problem figuring out if it's care or guilt that went through his mind.
he stayed till 2.00am, yes i still couldnt slp by then.
and i kinda chased him hm so that he could slp.
Oh well.
sometimes i wonder if we both are starting to take each other for granted.
I hope not, and i don't want to.
perhaps it's the stress from work and studies.
i know im not balancing really well.
dependance on him is getting greater each day.
i've crowned him to be the best bf ever.
the amt of tolerance he has for me, is endless.
i know i can be a bitch sometimes.
the amt of freedom he gives and trust he has for me, is unimaginable.
so i'm really comfortable in his hands. =D
fad broke up with his gf days ago.
3 years r/s ended in a bad way.
the gf cheated on him.
i mean.. isn't that so normal these days.
perhaps that was spoken from a person who went through it before.
so it seemed no big deal.
because i believe, so what if it's 3 years? if one is meant to do such things, 10 years is not too long as well.
but i only know, it will be a waste of love and effort spent on this person who isn't worth it.
and the taste of betrayal will linger till god knows when.
it's no longer talking abt if you still love that guy/girl, but whether u can get over that feeling of despair when u find out the truth to it.
so i tell myself.
no matter what happens.
I'll die being a third party spoiling other r/s that was built up with tonnes of effort.
why do that?
karma will come one day u know. =)
while im in the midst of struggling sometimes. i know i just have to get my principles right.
Yeah. see, instead of work everyday in my blog.
i talk about life too.
i know my social circle is getting smaller.
without injection of M factor, i seldom call my friends out these days.
i do hope they understand and let me tide over this period first.
it's has been tough and difficult.
and i'm desperate for a higher paying job.
and the disability to do part-time sucks due to my studies.
it's all about shifting your priorities up and down these days.
Oh BTW.
i scored well for previous term exam.
YAY, Aced it
but i know i cant be complacent this time round.
4 modules in 3 months, is disgusting.
and im down to 1 month to revise 4 modules all at one go.
so now.
im gonna plan my revision schedule
lets hope everything will be ok?
I cant wait till the day i have money to go overseas again.
i really, really need a break!
i'm glad mum is supportive of me changing a job this time round.
i was in fact worried earlier that she may nag and say i'm not stable enough.
with her support, i thikn i can safely look for another job.
because it is my parents that im worried of.
you know, note of survival is important here.
alright! im going off!
bye!
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