I wonder.

Everything is just progressing too smoothly.
I so want to stop, and do a self check. Is everything really ok?
BUt i don't have the time.
And i do not know, if I am doing well here.
Because, i don't have someone to double check this with me.
I just have to believe that yes, it's correct.

it feels so wrong sometimes.
it's just another 6 days counting down to week 0.
the feeling of anxiety is coming up all over again.
but i feel damn lost.
perhaps over the past week, id been dwelling back at work.
week 0 was way down on the priority list.
and this week, i have to take it out and put it first/second on the list.
it's hard.

will it be as smooth running as it seems to be?
i'm filled with uncertainty.
but i know i don't have time. So i choose to tell myself, yes it will, it better be.
if anythign happens, wait till it happens next week.
thats exactly how i feel now.
gosh, i'm so ashamed of myself sometimes.
it's just 1 more week! why cant i hang in there?
i am.. just.. a proverb. You Xin Wu Li.

The humans in student development had been really disappointing me.
1 good year being in their midst is really good enough to see.
The max I'll go, is perhaps another 1 more year.
to do what I want first.

Spent 1 entire day in design studio yesterday.
wasted time.
painted apples, which I din know how beneficial it was to my work
but the fact that we're sitting there painting was interesting.
If I am paid 8 hrs a day for this, i really dont mind.
provided that i don't have any other thigns to do lah! sigh.
it was hard having all 3 of us thinking abt work while painting.
and yup, i saw the great wall of TP today.
so much to paint in mere 2 days. thats quite over. sigh.
I cant believe I'm stuck doing this a few days before orientation.
See? Now it explains. I'm losing my focus.

I cant fail the mural wall.
as it is a TP thingy, school reps and all.

So much of a responsibility.

Sian.

Back to painting! spending entire day there.