working marathon starts NOW

i seriously do not want to use the f word.
but it had been appearing so ooften on my dictionary.
it's becoming indispensable these days to describe my situation.
Ffat sigh.

had been working damn hard these 2 weeks.
i nv felt myself working so hard even for the past 2 years.
working for 10 hours a day is seriously no joke.
eye power cant make it, brain neither.
but im okie. all is fine, as long as i complete my tasks of the day.

this is going to go on for the next 2 weeks.
i will perservere. who ever said will give up anyway.

Boss told me that i could do something i enjoy doing
once i get the hang of my job.
something out of my jobscope, to plan, to organise events. up to me.
so wad was the first thing that struck me? u know.
but wadever it is, that shall wait till at least end this year.
i need time to establish my career! nv felt so driven in my life before.

side note. im extremely unhappy now.
or should i say, im terribly upset.
it's Fannoying to be upset over such ppl. cuz sometimes i don't even know if its worth it.
it's how sad ppl change over the years due to the series of events in life.
if you think u're right, go ahead. i shall not argue.
if thats wad u want to impart in ppls lives, up to you.
if that was your mindset of training leaders, or IS ur mindset currently, so be it.
i don't give a f.

just don't come to me with attitudes
that im accusing, im maligning, im wrong to say all that.
giving me all sorts of most absurd reasonings that you always have.
to show me that i cant outtalk you, and therefore, u're right.
SURE.
before i could even speak of possible solutions, u shut me up.
before i could suggest something more than just sitting down with them and doing things together or even taking over the organising role, u shut me up with the f whoever.
is this how u want things to go?
after a series of telling me im wrong, then u ask, TEACH YOU how to do things right.
are u sure u're asking me wad i want you to do,
or just telling me, U see, u've nothing to say now right.

WHY should i follow ur flow of talking.
just because u're someone i respected like hell, in the past?
but too bad, im sorry a million times over, you're no longer the one.
not in asc, not even in QSS.
all the respect, all the support needed from you, were lost. and perhaps, forever.
*note: the kinda respect i had for you, was never meant for any tom dick or harry.

if the indifferent attitude can bring u anywhere, congrats to u.
if smiling and laughing off matters can make things happen, good luck.
if only matters pertaining to U and U and U are serious, and others are FON. alright.

today's orientation made me realise one thing,
my passion to train leaders and touching ppls lives has nv faded away.
the want to do something about it is burning in me.
but what can i do? but to set it aside and be fully focused on my work.

yes. work work work.
i need to make koolwerkz work out.

-out-