I cant SEE!

haha. yes im turning blind.
eyesight is seriously failing on me.
think i'd been watching far too much movies, and spending too much time in front of comp.
it's time for a break soon huh.

nearly fell while walking just now cuz i lost my gravity.
gorgy. terrible feeling man.
took me awhile to get back my balance and eyes that could see things.
thank god. it was that mild.

popped panadol for my intense headache.
preparing to slp right after this entry.
i'd been a good girl and been slpin at 10 plus loh.
just that tonight i must hit the last episode of my fav vcd
thats why i struggled to keep myself awake.

i'd been slping everywhere, anywhere, anytime. hEEHEE.

paid my bills.
god. hell alot. at least a few hundred bucks altogether.
life is getting tougher with my parents becoming almost pro gamblers.
whom i don't see them often these days cuz they'll be stuck on gambling boats.
and i just rem-ed giving them allowance this morning.
next thing i knew, they're not cmoing home tonight.
well. im praying damn hard the money is still in their pocket after tonight.
sigh. what the hell is this.
why cant humans just work peacefully and get their decent amount of pay?
even if it's not enough or little.... as long as its enough to get by
as long as.. its thru hard work.
wads the point on depending on luck.

as if one can ever get SOOOO lucky in life.

had been thinking quite abit these few days.
yes.. not again.
sometimes i hope i seriously cant see.
cant rem, cant feel.
so that perhaps one may be better.
god. give me a hard knock on my head.
let me wake up from this nightmare that nv ends.
why do i have to feel so dejected everyday of my life?
even if it's just for a moment that struck my mind and reminded me,
i don't want it AT ALL.

is it so difficult???? the same qns i throw to ppl all the time.
yes, it is.
but it's not impossible to feel better each day.
im trying DAMn hard. occupying myself with all kinds of nonsensical activities.
but i guess they are helping real bit.

okie. im tired.
do't want to think.
just want to slp.
head is exploding, guess God is kncoking damn hard right now.
but it's not enough to get me out of this shit.
im praying for more.

gdnight. =)