it's so tough being a friend

sigh.
why must it always end up like that?
why must it always end up us fighting over such minor issues?
or prob.. it's not minor, it's just major from the inside.

u always said i don't uds u.
u always said i don't listen to you.
and now u say i can do wadever i want as long as im happy.

how am i supposed to smile and forget and be happy like that?
im not sure.
it's just purely annoying.

i'd been trying so hard just to live up to your beloved friend.
some friend thats willing to listen and willing to spend more time than ever with you.
but come on... i've other friends too.
i need to keep these impt ppl in my lives remain here with me.

and when i say i'll meet you.
i meet you cuz i want to meet you.
not for the sake of u saying u want to meet me then i meet u.
do u think im sucha person?
if u think so. then so be it.
but i just've to say, i don't meet ppl i dont want to see.
cuz to me, its just a pure waste of time.
so pls KNOW that i meet u cuz i want to see u.

gosh. i feel so suffocated being a friend like that.
trying every single damn day trying to live up to my name.
at leas tto the name u've given me.
i thought im good enough u know.
but u always make me realise that im nv good enough.
to be a good friend, a good gf to be, a good... wadever.
why do i always feel this way when i talk to u?

my mood just have to be ruined early in the morning all the time.
dont reply for hours it means im ignoring you.
don't answer ur qns in smses means i dont give a damn.
jsut meeting u for 2 hrs for dinner and then leaving for other ppl after tt means i actually don't want to meet u At all.
things that i said or tried to explain... are just plain excuses in ur eyes.

u're right. i do not uds u.
but im willing to listen.
but u gotta make sure it's appropriate times
and when u're finally wililng to speak up.
but.. WHEN?
i asked, i probed, i waited.
until i decided that i should not probe if u eventually don't wish to say
and i decided to just wait.
but when we finally meet up, u decided to keep your peace.
gosh. wad am i to do?

meeting him doesnt seem right
meeting them doesnt seem right.
then wad the heck is right for me in my life?
im not sure.
but im damn sick and tired of all these

im sorry.

blah. freaking annoyed and trust me.
im hurt oo.
having to feel really unappreciated every time.
the efforts made always seem to go into vain or misunderstood.
if u dont think im trying, u're so wrong.

wadever.