enough is enough

i've to blog.
not meant for anyone to see or understand.
but this is really for myself.

enough is enough.
after all these months.
what havent i done?
been the best friend one'd want.
to listen, to feel, to scold, to hope, to wonder.

to always be there
to be the support
to be swallowing all nonsense
though unhappy, but yes since it's you, i can tolerate.

break-ups are inevitable in life.
ppl come, ppl go.
some adapt to changes and move on with life.
while some like you are still stuck in the midst of the threshold
i knew u needed time. sure i'll give u time.

but how long?
how long to understand enough is enough.
how long to stop hurting ppl and yourself.
how long to start showing faces of smiles and joy
how long to stop sulking and crying
how long to stop sarcasm
how long?

She's a nice girl in ur eyes.
but not to everyone else.
fine, point taken, shes the best in ur eyes
even if she hurt u, made use of u, taking advantage of u
as ur friends, we were pissed.
but we swallowed it.
since u took all of this willingly.
what could we say? wad could i say?

she moved on with her life.
with this not so perfect guy
but it's her choice, her step taken to move on with life.
why not u?
why still stuck at the crossroads waiting for a girl that'll nv return?
all u get in return wil just be calls to make use of u once again.
if not, will be the nv contactable girl.

you wanted her to be happy
u firmly believe that guy's not the one for her.
think about it, are u the one?
if u were the one, break-up incident would not have happened
as least, she firmly believed that u and her are over forever.
whats the point of comparing one another.
when there's no stand for comparison anymore.
at least, not for u to do it.

he sucked. fine.
but hello, she's not that good either.
what has she done to u all these while? think about it.

friends were there to support u.
we gave u wadever we have.
to shut up abt jx. to cry when u do
to listen when u need to.
but until when?

as ur heart gets weary
ours too. especially mine.
so wanted to give a tight slap to both u and her last night.
so wanted to shout at u, hello? it's her bdae. give her a break.
hello? u havent slept. give urself a break!
isit that hard to ask for?

im damn tired.
im so sorry that im not a good friend.
i thought i was to give all sorts of support.
but i simply cant agree the way u're destroying urself.
it's either her, or lose a friend like me..
i've had enough being the bad person to scold.
when i do not, i've to watch all the shit u're doing.
and all the crap u're going thru.

receiving msges that u're tired.
receiving msges abt how uch u miss her.
i know. i know all that.
but wad can i do? at the same time, im feeling how u feel.

u always say, no one will know wad u're going thru.
frankly speaking. i don't.
and perhaps, i dont wish to try anymore.
ima bad friend. wadever.

i always said meli forced her way on otherss.
right now, u're doing it too.
wad difference does it make/
so much for loving her. just like so much for her to love her friends.
ever asked if she wanted it. ever asked wad she ever wanted?
nope.
all ur own way.
all ur thinking.
all the things u think it's best for her.
fine. go ahead. w
when i say u can do anything u want. i mean it.

sis said.
it's okie to be sad, it's normal.
but it's nv okie to instill sadness and anger into everyone else ard u.
it's nv okie to be hindering her in her r/s just because u think it's not right.
it's not okie. none is okie.
it's not okie to be crying at one corner after doing something that u thought she'll be happy
thats not being noble. im sorry.
at least i don't think so.

im damn pissed.
damn disappointed.
damn annoyed that it's not working out
or even a step ahead at all.
u can have other friends to support u
those that'll not stop u from doing anthing u want, but help when u ask for.
go ahead to those who do that.
im sorry, but i'll nv be the one.

i cried. i broke down.
cuz i din think ic ould take all these anymore.
wadever about being the one, about loving her.
i dont give a shit.
just want to kick her and u as well.

recognise my anger
and recognise that im serious.

until u realise u want to move on with life.
im sorry, i'll not be the one u find anymore.

thats it.

sigh.
oh well.
wad can i say, or do. to ever make u understand.