the biggest fool

the most shocking news i've heard with my own ears, what am i to expect next?

today is the 26th of April, my 1 and a half year anni with jeff. had been smiling over this fact for don't know how many days. in the end, im supposed to hear that from him when the clock striked 12 in the midnight.

ha.. i guess it's all fated.

being the usual stupid and naive grace chan, and having the tendency to trust others too much. i always gave the benefit of a doubt for my very own boyfriend. in my eyes, he's the last person that would lie to me for anything.

have never felt so hurt before in my whole entire life. never realised the feeling of being betrayed by someone i loved and trusted could just simply take over my own entire body, soul and heart. i felt it long ago, just that i told myself, jeff will nv do such things. i trust him.

but how come it's all happening now? he said he'll not be him anymore if he cant be honest with me. yeah, then? im supposed to have sympathy and empathy on his plight and udnerstand him? i'd been understanding, at least i tried for so long, but if any other person could be understanding at this point of time, she'll be called a saint.

im sorry, but im not a saint.

i felt like i've been treated like an idiot. first, it was happy anniversary dear. five min later it was some confession of what he's done. so im so smile all happily, and then i fell into the state of shock and depression.

what am i to do? lying beside him the whole night, crying. lying beside someone whom i no longer know. someone i thought i knew for the past years. haha, i felt nothing but stupidity. i bet i must be the kindest girl around to have created the many chances for her boy to be in love with another girl. haha.

i'm thrashed. totally.

do i have any other way out? ha. no one's giving me a choice anyway.