Disappointment

Upset. yup. having a bunch of laid back ppl running my club. the reputation, the hard work and effort built up for wad we became now. at least, recognised to be the smallest club in the whole tp, but at least producing significant and big projects that ppl would be in awe of. but, now, i can only see that it'd fall in their hands.

i know im scary and intimidating. but lying to me about forgetting to send up proposal is too much for me to believe. right? i don't think im that stupid. honesty would help, u know. but some ppl chose to bluff their way thru.

yes, im angry because of the attempt to lie. but i'm more pissed, with how laid back these ppl could get on completing the task given, and meeting datelines. im really disappointed. havent been so down for so long. i shouldnt have too much expectations in the first place? even the person i trusted most made me feel that she cant be bothered to do work until the last minute. hope i misunderstood her, hope that im wrong. but im just disappointed.

on one hand i feel that my words are unimportant because no one bothered listening using their heart and reflect on it. on the other hand, am i just too scary and intimidating that ppl have to lie to me. wadever it is, i guess i'm almost giving up on all these nonsense. i feel like im wasting my time.

i know once i feel that im wasting my time, im alr not suitable to be here telling these ppl wad can they do about life in the club. cuz im out of it.

so... i don't know. i don't even know wad should i do. if they think they're that great, and don't need mentors, why are we here in the first place? it takes 2 hands to clap. i'd only been trying on 2 persons, and it failed. how to deal with the rest of the 13? ha. sister, tell me wad to do man.

wadever. nights