Zip it? Yeah okay.

This is going to be pretty angry post.
Since that is gonna reflect pretty much on how i'm feeling now.

i was upset just now.
but now im just angry.

it was all good out with JS today.
and till once again he started telling me about the disadvantages of dating a younger guy.
not that i have not heard before, but honestly, everytime?

I am one person who needs more support than having someone tellnig me about the harsh facts of life.
that fact - i know.
but what i need more is someone telling me that i can pull thru and this will work out.


i know im putting on weight, getting fatter, chubbier, or whatever u guys call it.
And tell me more about how guys only care about physical appearance and sex.
like that is going to make me feel better.
and that is going to motivate me to lose more kilos.
i Am who i am. If i am like that, so be it.
i needed to know there is a less superficial world out there. at least, a little more differnt from the field im working in right now.
no matter how confident i feel about myself, my personality, it still wouldnt work?
if it is, then how did the ugly girls get their bfs and get married and be happily ever after?

my ego just got crushed. when he has to mention that i grow horizontally all the time when he meet.
and how i need to change that to still be with my bf.
u know how sad it is? because it feels that i have nothing to keep my bf with me except for how i look.

i don't know how to be positive if... people tell me how negative this seems.
my mind has already been going on a roller coaster ride lately and i cant afford another one.
and now finally and im down.

it was okay, i just needed to shout it out and get it over with. the fact that i have a blunt friend who speaks his mind.

but it was not okay - thinking that he is still right for being too blunt and he got blamed for speaking his mind.
there are many sides to the coin yes. and there are many ways to put across certain messages too.
this made me particularly upset.

if zipping your mouth helps... then why be a friend in the first place? thats totally not what i meant at all. but forget it. since he thinks hes right all the time.

Grace is a really nice girl, but many of her friends don't understand that she has that side of her that cannot be touched.
sometimes she don't say it not because shes indifferent or not bothered. just because she respects friends and their thinking. but not too much. it hurts.

sigh. it was a mistake in the whole beginning. to even talk about such things. i shouldnt have started it because now i know i may just lose a good friend for good. either ways.

gdnight. i shall chill and life will be better tomorrow.