Insanity

My paper On monday was gross.
it's the hardest paper i have ever came across since I started studying in MDIS.
Well, it was an utterly disappointment in myself because if I have bothered studying more on theory, i could have done better.
now, i'm even worried of not getting a C for it, hopefully im right that i'll pass.

this week had passed really quickly.
On monday night, i had company dinner.
Boss's treat at grand Hyatt Straits Kitchen.
it was a mighty brainstorming and story telling session.
but i had my fair share of fun listening to interesting things said by my director (some shareholder)

That also meant - Grace, more work on canvassing please.
there had been alot of pressure placed on canvassing side.
I am already trying my best, i really would say.
everyday i'm packed with lots of weird things to do
that i cant focus on just looking for schools.
i mean - seriously, after sending email, u call. u cant possibly be calling the same sch every single day that has passed.
but i am glad that work has progressed.
now i have finally 2 institutions who are damn keen on working with us
which i am DAMN happy and proud of myself.
at least thats a great sense of satisfaction, with motivation.

I'd been asking the whole world to do video for me.
of course there are those that, i don't ask cuz i know they really don't have the time.
but i'm glad there are those that who'd still do it for me despite the busy schedule.
these few weeks had been damn gross.
too much things that have happened that i feel like i'm crumbling down.

I'm thankful that my boss has been really kind and patient with me.
i aspire to be like her 4 years down the road, running the show.

and yes, btw, i appeared on tv.
which was utterly embarrassing lah! haha.

Many things happened this week.
exams, work, and mixed feelings. it was gross.

first time in my life - i suffered from some sort of anxiety attack for exam on monday
i was so stressed up, totally couldnt process in my brain
before, during and after the paper.
now i AM seeing the downside of taking part time degree with a full time job.

then. Met Gerald.
too long a story to tell. but things got a little out of control.
at least on my side.
i was confused over the little butterflies in my stomach when we met and i wondered hard on what it was.
was feeling really lost and din know what to do.

but thank god. a phonecall kinda pulled me out from there.
and i realised, i really need to treasure my r/s with bf, someone that i know i love but i'd been taking him for granted.

perhaps, life has been too good with him around?
I nv had to worry that he's not going to be around.
He's always been there, whenever i needed him. as much as he could.
perhaps its him being too nice and showering too much care, that made me forget that,
hey, u need to be a little more appreciative.

it was a wake up call.
I was nv so scared of losing someone. I guess.
Because i actually opened up my mouth and told him about my confusion.
i thought i needed to.
and to my surprise, he wasnt angry at all lah.
that was madness right
all he said was, as long as u're still here, i'm happy.
OMG i nearly died.
the sense of guilt that i felt was gross.
but i was damn happy. =)
there i knew, i din have to make a choice at all. Because, he was and is my choice.

thank god towards the middle of the week, my mixed emotions were back to normal
and now im just damn tired from studying.

i think i need the bed.
so much work waiting for me to do in office
and so much more to study
i'm losing my balance already, really.

cant wait to go back to TP this sat to meet the asc kids
and cant wait to go for Pan's bdae party
I need a break!!!!!

lovely, good night!
I'm gonna study a little more and slp and wake up tomorrow morning.
Ciao. =)