over the limit

how long is this shitty feeling going to linger?
so much for.. maintaining friendship, bonding, doing something together.
now.. it does nothing but cont to strain friendships
and trust me the circle just gets bigger.

damn demoralised.
im very sure i'll be out of this soon.
bdae resolution.
just waiting for that day to come.

grrrr. f words are stuck in my mouth.
im swallowing them all back to as to tame my tongue a little.
some words said just stopped me from having a good lunch.
and words leave me pondering. about the past, present, and future.

it's sad to see and feel how things and changed.
not that im not accepting this fact, but it's a matter of handling the emotions.
sometimes i just feel like opening my mouth and start pouring out things i want to say.
but in front of this idiot, it's so difficult.
especially when he starts showing pain due to gastric, i start being nice again.

grace chan.
can u please don't be so fj.
well. not talking about qss does avoid conflict.
but having hidden agendas does not help at all.
i seriously do not know how long this can last.
perhaps by july, lunching together may even be more difficult.
but. wadever. seriously..

feeling damn cui once agian.
with no support, just doing it.
not doing it cuz we want to prove others wrong.
it's been proven anyway.
doing it cuz it needs to be done, and we want to do it.
so.. wadever.

lalalala.
hair got blacker today. boss did not say anything in particular.
i may be receiving increment today if im not wrong.
though pro-rated but it's definitely better than nothing.
it's right to say that we should be happy having a stable job now.
=)
wa... the guy that came for koolwerkz visit today was DAMN cute.
i nearly died. but kept my composure cuz boss was there.
HEHE. but very cute. and i din even know his name! grrrr. =p

met up with the beloved pharmacy guys today.
YO. all things for bangkok trip is almost done up.
im happy. keep this going.
though some part of me just don't feel motivated enough right now....
but all these happier thoughts keep me going.

=) be happy grace chan.
weekend's coming.
sandcastle day's coming.
get ready. both mentally and physically. perhaps even emotionally too.

lala. gdnight. eyes had been hurting big time!