how isit possible?

lala.. it's 7 plus in the morning right now.
forced myself to slp at 10 plus.. and woke up several times in the night.
wanted to stop myself from thinking, but i know i failed.

i do not know lah.
the need to feel impt was necessary.
at least.. for the bloody sms. was crucial.
well... i have taken a big leap towards you.
but somehow.. it's not working out.
because. it feels that you refused to take that step.
so... i guess i know the answer right now.

i've waited. for.. so long.
when i thought finally there is something to look forward to..
it got crashed all over once again.
it's always.. like that.
how isit possible for me to go on feeling like this.

giving a benefit of a doubt.
i always did.
i do not know how long more i'm able to do that.
because i do not how long more can i withstand walking away once again..
whenever i chose to walk away, you come walking towards me.
how am i supposed to get out of this?
had been holding on for far too long,
the heartache just accumulates.
its the thought of holding on to something that i do not see the destination im going that sucks.

what a great morning to make me feel this way.

i hope i can just.. stop waiting.
stop expecting. stop hoping.
stop.. wanting anything to do with you.