So this is how it feels.

well. havent really had time, or mood to type my blog these few days. either too lazy, or too busy.

well. went back to school in the morning for the last formal meeting. well.. attendance wasnt that great, but the usual people were back. so im glad. it was also the shortest meeting after all. about 40 minutes? ahha. then rushed off to work at SAc pri.

tiring day. had to deal with kids fussing over rabbits and guinea pigs at the animal resorts. sigh. was rather irritated. din feel well too, had headache the whole day long, and nauseous near to the end of the day for work.

went back to school for oltc meeting, joined in actually. cuz they took rather long. but i still managed to sit in for like an hour or two. sigh. it's damn hard to be nice sometimes la okie. as much as i try to be, that thing in me just doesnt go away.

was rather upset. yeah until now, not feeling good at all. wallace lim said that im very hostile to bendy ho, and that seemed to be hindering the progress of orientation. im already trying my best not to do that already. especially after that big fight that we had. wallace is always like that. sigh, always assuming that im the bad one right. or is it about some lame theory that older ppl gotta give way to the younger ones? i've not told him anything about wad we fought about, wad he said that got me so mad, thats why wallace was like that? or even if he knew, he'd still be on bendy ho's side? i seriously do not understand.

im a spoilt girl in front of many ppl right. doing things that i like, things that i want. yeah, so be it la. sigh. whatever i did, feels just so worthless when this weakness of mine comes into place. i did not want to be involved, he had to bring me back into this dumb week zero crap. and now im back, trying to do my job well, something that i havent done before for whole time being in the club, yet, trying is a bad thing too. my usage of words, nv changed, the way ppl look at me, nv changed as well.

As a matter of fact, wallace is someone i really respected. but i just hate it whenever he starts bringing this up, why cant i be nicer to bendy ho? cuz i cant. i simply cant and will not be. like as if he, or anyone else, would ever understand. and i dun bother to explain myself. it's pointless. even jeffrey, im not even sure if he really understood. maybe to him, im throwing some small girl tantrum too. perhaps, he agreed with wallace.

i duno. just upset. oh well. sometimes, why bother saying or doing so much. im out of this la. whatever.